She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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