Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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