why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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