Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize