Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
He told me they were just razor bumps!
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
