remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
