so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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