i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize
