Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I need moral support for this bender
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
