Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
