How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
