I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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