The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
