How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
