It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
