Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
