I need to stop coming to work sober
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
