super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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