Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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