there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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