U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
