the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
