Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
