apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
