we made out on top of his cat.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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