It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
