Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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