who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
