I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
