I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Randomize
