we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
