ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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