no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
