Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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