Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
