You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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