you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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