and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Randomize