We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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