just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
