Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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