Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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