yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
there is glitter all over my balls
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
