did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
