he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
