Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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