They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
