i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
this boner is exhausting
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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