i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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