theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
