just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
