I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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