i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
