Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
