I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
