help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
