She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I cockslap morals
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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