The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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