Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
